Hello warrior family,
Today we will discuss how to self-heal after trauma, through emotional regulation.
When it comes to trauma survivors, particularly those confronting past abuse or unresolved trauma, emotional regulation becomes an essential part of healing.
Innerstanding how emotional regulation works in these contexts—and how we can practice it on our own—can be empowering and help facilitate long-term healing.
Below is a more detailed explanation of emotional regulation in trauma recovery and some strategies that can help when self-therapy is involved.
1. Emotional Regulation in Trauma Healing
In trauma, the emotional regulation system can become dysregulated.
This happens because:
• Trauma and the Nervous System: Trauma often activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. This system helps us react quickly to threats, but in the case of unresolved trauma, the body can remain in a heightened state of arousal, even when there is no immediate danger. This can manifest as anxiety, hypervigilance, or emotional outbursts.
• Suppressed Emotions: Survivors of abuse often suppress or dissociate from their emotions to cope with the pain or fear during and after the trauma. As a result, they may struggle to identify, process, or regulate their emotions when they resurface. This emotional suppression often leads to overwhelming emotional experiences later in life when they are triggered by something related to the trauma (e.g., confronting an abuser).
• Trauma Impairs Emotional Processing: The brain’s emotional processing structures (like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex) can become “overactive” or “underactive” in response to trauma, leading to difficulties in controlling and understanding emotions. The amygdala (which processes fear) may become hyperactive, making the individual more sensitive to emotional triggers, while the prefrontal cortex (which helps us control emotional responses) can become less effective at calming down emotional reactions.
2. How Emotional Regulation Happens Post-Trauma
For trauma survivors, emotional regulation becomes a skill that needs to be re-learned or developed over time. This often involves a combination of mindfulness, self-awareness, grounding techniques, and cognitive reframing. Here’s how emotional regulation might unfold:
• Awareness of Emotional States: The first step in regulating emotions is recognizing when emotions are rising. For trauma survivors, this might involve noticing bodily sensations (e.g., tension, shallow breathing, shaking), changes in thoughts (e.g., intrusive memories, fear), or shifts in behaviour (e.g., withdrawing, lashing out). Becoming aware of these signs is the foundation of emotional regulation.
• Self-Soothing Techniques: Once an individual recognizes they are dysregulated (e.g., shaking, fear, anger), the next step is calming the body and mind. This can be achieved through various methods like deep breathing, grounding, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditation.
• Cognitive Reframing: This involves changing the way a person thinks about a situation or an emotional reaction. If someone’s initial response to confronting an abuser is to feel worthless or fearful, cognitive reframing can help shift the perspective by recognizing that their past does not define their worth or safety in the present.
• Self-Compassion: For many trauma survivors, a lack of self-compassion can perpetuate emotional dysregulation. Recognizing and treating oneself with kindness, especially when emotions feel overwhelming, can help counter the inner critic that often emerges after trauma.
3. What a Person Can Do When Self-Therapying:
If someone is attempting to self-regulate emotions and heal on their own, especially after confronting trauma, they can use several strategies to help process emotions more effectively. Here are some tools and practices to consider:
- Grounding Techniques
Grounding helps the person reconnect with the present moment and calm the physical and emotional storm within. Grounding can help manage overwhelming emotions, especially after confronting a painful truth or memory. Some methods include:
- Space organization or cleaning
• Engage the senses by identifying:
• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can feel
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste
• Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths (e.g., inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4). This can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and help lower stress.
• Physical Movement: Taking a walk, stretching, or tapping your feet can re-anchor you in the body, especially when anxiety or dissociation are present.
- Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Mindfulness can be particularly useful for emotional regulation because it promotes awareness of the present moment without judgment. Practicing mindfulness regularly helps people recognize emotional triggers and their body’s responses. This can help with:
• Emotional Recognition: Recognizing emotions as they arise, such as identifying when ,anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness is beginning to build. By naming the emotion, individuals can observe the emotion rather than adopting it & create distance from it, reducing the likelihood of acting out of emotional impulse.
• Mindful Breathing: Sitting quietly and observing the breath can help calm the nervous system. Focusing on breath slows down the body’s fight-or-flight response and allows the person to gain perspective before reacting.
- Cognitive Behavioural Tools
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) provides tools to reframe negative or harmful thoughts. When trauma survivors confront their past, they might have intense emotional reactions that are tied to negative self-beliefs or distortions. Some CBT strategies include:
• Challenging Negative Thoughts: When a negative thought arises, ask, “Is this thought based on the present moment or is it influenced by past trauma?” Reframing these thoughts might involve replacing them with more realistic or compassionate alternatives (e.g., “The abuse was not my fault. I am strong for speaking out”).
Check this video on how to heal the inner child
• Affirmations: Creating positive affirmations, like “I am safe now” or “I am worthy of love and respect,” can counteract the negative thoughts or subconscious messages ingrained by abuse.
- Self-Soothing Practices
In times of high emotional distress, self-soothing can help reduce intense emotions. Some calming techniques might include:
• Listening to Music, Humming, or Guided Meditation: Music or guided visualizations can help soothe the nervous system and shift the emotional state.
• Warmth or Comfort: Holding something warm, like a cup of tea or a cozy blanket, can trigger a relaxation response in the body. This type of tactile soothing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the fight-or-flight response. Engaging the smell also helps, by using incense sticks or oils.
- Journaling and Emotional Expression
Writing about feelings, experiences, and memories can help process emotions. Expressive writing allows individuals to get in touch with their deeper emotions and organize their thoughts. It can be especially powerful after a confrontation with an abuser or confronting long-suppressed emotions.
• Free Writing: Simply write without judgment or concern for grammar or structure. Write about what’s coming up emotionally and let the feelings flow onto the page.
• Letters (Not Sent): Writing letters to the abuser or to the inner child can allow the person to express forgiveness, anger, sadness, or hurt that has been bottled up. Even if the letter is never sent, it can be a cathartic way to release emotions.
- Practice Self-Compassion
After confronting past trauma, survivors often feel shame, guilt, or self-blame. Developing self-compassion helps regulate those emotions. Survivors should remind themselves that they are not their trauma, and healing is a long-term journey.
• Loving-Kindness Meditation: Practice Feeling the sun rays, the warmth of the sun, sending love and compassion to yourself. Start by saying, “I am safe, I am happy, health is my natural state of being, I am at peace, I trust the process.” This can counteract negative self-talk and build emotional resilience.
Self-regulating emotions after confronting trauma is a gradual process that involves increasing self-awareness, learning grounding techniques, practicing mindfulness, and developing self-compassion. Trauma survivors can self-therapy by using tools like deep breathing, cognitive reframing, journaling, and grounding exercises to help manage overwhelming emotions. While this process can be challenging, it’s also empowering and can lead to long-term emotional healing and regulation. However, it’s important to note that professional therapy (e.g., trauma-focused therapy, EMDR) can significantly complement these self-help strategies and provide a structured approach to deeper healing.
Thank you for being here :)
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Andriana is the founder of Conscious Alignment & Co-Creator at Team Light Cyprus.
Her purpose and passion is giving people the tools, guidance & inspiration for creating an empowered version of self in all aspects of life. She is dedicated into assisting, healing & activating people by sharing her gifts through authenticity, simplicity & spiritual mastery Find out more at ww.consciousalignment.co.uk
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